I'm back! Blogging...what is blogging?! It's been so long I can hardly remember! As of 11 a.m. today I am a stay at home mom again, so *maybe* I will be able to find time for this. Even if no one else cares about what I have to say, it's nice to look back on these!
So...SAHM v. Working mom...sorry to all the SAHMs that I know, but working when you have kids is harder than staying home. I have done both and this is my verdict. I have worked for the last year, both full and part time, mornings, evenings, days...I've tried it all. It sucked. It sucked for me, it sucked for my husband, and most importantly it sucked for my kids. I finally decided I was done when my 10 year old informed me that she would rather have her mom home than have presents under the Christmas tree.
In my experience, the worst part about working was finding child care...and affording that care...then TRUSTING that care. I can say I had some wonderful people watch my children. They were in good hands and safe and even loved (most of the time, we had the few assholes that didn't last long)...but it isn't the same. My kids need me. I know them like no one else does. I understand that when Mylee has a meltdown over being asked to do the dishes, she is likely tired. I know that when Austin spends some time alone in his room he probably just needs a hug and to be told that he's loved. I know that when Hailey gets in one of her moods, it is best to just let her have some time, then go talk to her about what's going on, then give her more time. I know that telling Colton "no" is going to result in a major temper tantrum/meltdown these days and it's best to ignore it and he will snap out of it in no time. I know them! I can handle them better than anyone else in this world! And for those times that I don't handle them just right, I know I will be forgiven easier than most because I am mom. Basically, my kids need me to raise them and knowing that I wasn't able to do that was killing me.
Another part that was much more difficult was time. I never had enough time...no time to pay bills, no time to sleep, no time to enjoy bedtime with the kids, no time to spend with my husband, no time for me. I was always working and trying to juggle everything else. I'm not saying that a working mother cannot do all of those things (I did...kinda...for a year) but it really is so much harder! I kept thinking that I would get used to it, we'd find a routine, I'd manage my housework better...nope. It always sucked and it was always hard. My house has always been a bit messy but when I was working it was literally destroyed! We lost our first rental deposit in our last place because I just could not keep up with everything and it was just bad (also, because the landlords were a little crazy, but that's another story). And school events?! I don't even know where to start! Telling a 6 year old that no one will be at his program at school that he's worked so hard to learn and remember and then seeing that hurt in his eyes when he says, "It's okay," and you just know that it is most definitely not okay...there is no amount of money in the world to make up for that!
But what about the money?! How will we survive financially without it?! Well...without going into too much detail about our financial situation...we will be fine. Upon looking at our current situation, we found that my income was being spent on, well, nothing important...except daycare...which really makes zero sense! I'd rather live without some of the extras we've had lately than to work my life away and neglect my kids for them. I was never as stressed out over anything when I was a SAHM, money included, as I have been by most everything since I started working! And honestly, with the job market in the town we live in, my almost minimum wage, part time jobs weren't really making us rich!
So, the point of all of this is that I am thrilled to be able to stay home with my kids...to know that they are being loved and taken care of by their mom, to be here when my husband gets home from work and here to kiss him when he leaves, to be sure the kids do their chores and homework and brush their teeth before school and bed, and to have time to handle household responsibilities that I have slacked on for the last year. I am also extremely excited that I will only have to put on pants and a bra on the rare occasions that I have to actually leave my house!
*Disclaimer: These are my feelings and opinions based on my situation and experiences! I don't care what anyone else does. If you want to work, more power to ya! If you stay home with your kids, awesome!
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