I have an opinion that I am going to share...shocking, right?! It is likely not going to be a popular one, but it's my blog and I do what I want. If you don't like it, feel free to share your views and comments and we can agree to disagree.
We hear so much these days about bullying with school-age children. It really is becoming such a problem in this entitled generation that is being raised. Kids are being raised to think that they can do no wrong, that they are the best at everything, and that other kids are less than themselves. There is nothing that the good parents can do about the choices of the bullies' parents. Nothing. We cannot legislate them to teach their kids respect nor can we legislate the children to suddenly relearn their self-image and their image of others. They have been raised to be mean, for whatever reason. No, we should not just give up on these children, but we should focus on our own children. What does a bully prey on? On another person's self-image. They make the other kids feel helpless, less than the bully, and unable to do anything about it. Why do we raise kids who allow this to happen? And this is where this will get tricky... No, I am not blaming the victim! I am really not. I am advocating for parents to teach their children that other kids' opinions of them are just that, irrelevant opinions! My kids are normal kids and tend to say mean things to each other at times. One will come tell me, "MOM! So-and-so just called me dumb!" My response is always, "Are you dumb?" The child will say no, of course. So I ask them, "then why does it matter? If you aren't dumb, the opinion is false and means nothing. If you were dumb, which you are certainly not, and didn't like that opinion of yourself, you could change it. But when someone calls you something it only hurts you as much as YOU let it." Of course, the other child is also dealt with accordingly, but they are learning that what other people say or think about them does not define them! That they are who they are and no one can change that.
Mylee is currently dealing with a difficult child at school. He was pulling on her backpack the other day and she told him that if he didn't stop her mom would come talk to him and he replied with a threat to have his dad come cut her head off with a knife. Ummmm, what?! We are talking about first graders here! Mom's first instinct? Go talk to the teacher, the principal, the head of the school district and the kid's parents!! Mom's actual reaction? Helping her deal with what he said, letting her know that he was coming from an ugly place and it is not her fault that he behaves this way, and guiding her to the proper avenues for handling the situation appropriately. She spoke to the principal first thing the next morning and things were dealt with. I could have coddled her, told her, "poor baby, mommy will save you, he's such a mean little boy." I could have helped her become the victim. Instead, I enabled her to handle the situation, stick up for herself, find a proper solution, and show the boy that she will not take his actions lightly.
I truly do not believe that my children will be bullies OR the victims of bullies. They are learning that they are no better or worse than any other person. That every person has worth and is special in their own way. They are being taught how unacceptable bullying is and not to allow it. We can't fight bullying by focusing only on the bullies. We need to empower our children to take charge of who they are and be confident in that and not allow others to change that or take that away from them!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Back to the real world!
I haven't blogged in over a month and it feels really good to be sitting in front of my computer to type out our crazy stories again! :) I would have probably been on here a lot in the last month, as it has been eventful, but we had no internet and I detest blogging on my phone.
We are all settled in St. George! It is WONDERFUL! I do miss being able to go outside in my underwear and not having to deal with the crazy people/drivers for sure, but the convenience of having a grocery store, doctor, and Jimmy John's right around the corner is worth putting pants on and yelling obscenities at the people who irritate me (which is actually most people these days :/ )! Our apartment is tiny and we only have one bathroom but we are making it work and it makes cleaning much faster and easier, so I can't complain about that! We have a pool right outside our door so we are all anxiously awaiting the warmer weather so we can swim! And it doesn't seem to be too far off! Yesterday it was in the 60s and I had the windows open throughout the house. I really love the weather here!
Bj is doing well in school. He's not super in love with it and just wants it to be over, but he's sticking with it and knows it's the best move for us at this point, which I admire so much! It's really hard to go to school, but it's even harder if you just don't want to be there. He's been doing pretty well on his quizzes and has good attendance so far. He's been a rockstar husband to me lately, as well. The poor man has a completely insane woman on his hands right now! For example, we always talk about not doing anything on Valentine's day because we agree that it really is a ridiculous holiday. We tell/show each other we are in love everyday, we don't need a special day to remind us to do this. Well this year that conversation ended with me saying, "But this year, that means I really want you to do something special for me..." He looked at me like I had totally lost my mind...and he's likely right! Poor guy! But he's being a trooper about it! And I think he plans to take me out shooting to celebrate Valentine's day...he's so great! :)
The kids are doing really well here! Hailey's teacher is so perfect for her! I couldn't have asked for a better teacher, seriously. The day we went in to meet the teachers we walked into Hailey's classroom and it is decorated all medieval with a cardboard castle built in the corner for the kids to read in, and knights and queens and swords and shields. Anyone who knows my little bookworm knows this could not fit her better. Needless to say, she was super excited to start and still loves going to school every day! Mylee's teacher is also pretty great for her. She has a good balance of making things fun while still keeping Mylee reigned in, so that is great! Mylee has had a bit of an issue with one of the boys in her class. He started telling her he loves her rather incessantly starting on her first day and continues to tease and pester her. She has talked to the teacher, principal, and counselor so far. I am trying very hard to allow her to handle this and guide her to the right venues to find a solution but it's tough to sit on the side lines! She's done great at standing up for herself so far and asking authority figures for help though, so I am just listening and guiding her...for now! Austin is dying to start kindergarten next year. He really cannot wait! And Colton has started walking/running and really seems to have developed mentally a lot just since we've moved here. They are all just doing really well!
The pregnancy is making me crazy, but going well. We easily heard the heartbeat at my last check up. I am now 16+ weeks, or 4 months. Not quite halfway done. I still have not had even a drag of a cigarette. Tomorrow will be 3 months exactly since my last cigarette and it's really not as difficult as I thought it would be. I don't really have any triggers that make me want one anymore and hardly ever have a craving for one. Bj has cut back and never smokes when he's home so that helps a lot, I think. I am calling this month the month of appointments! So far all of the kids have had dental check ups/cleanings, which all ended well with no cavities! Mylee will need braces (thanks a ton, Shane!), Hailey may need them, and the boys both look really good so far. I also had a dental check up recently and mine didn't go so well. I have enough work to do in my mouth that they split it up into three appointments next week. :( I have fillings on one side happening on Monday, the other side on Tuesday, and wisdom teeth being removed Thursday. I also need to have a prenatal check this month, Mylee's annual check up, an eye appointment for Colton, and my ultrasound! We are busy to say the least! We also have a few birthdays this month, including mine and Mylee's! I cannot believe she's going to be 7 already! All of these kids are growing up much too quickly for me! It's really so much fun to watch and be a part of and I couldn't be more proud of the awesome people they are becoming! :)
We are all settled in St. George! It is WONDERFUL! I do miss being able to go outside in my underwear and not having to deal with the crazy people/drivers for sure, but the convenience of having a grocery store, doctor, and Jimmy John's right around the corner is worth putting pants on and yelling obscenities at the people who irritate me (which is actually most people these days :/ )! Our apartment is tiny and we only have one bathroom but we are making it work and it makes cleaning much faster and easier, so I can't complain about that! We have a pool right outside our door so we are all anxiously awaiting the warmer weather so we can swim! And it doesn't seem to be too far off! Yesterday it was in the 60s and I had the windows open throughout the house. I really love the weather here!
Bj is doing well in school. He's not super in love with it and just wants it to be over, but he's sticking with it and knows it's the best move for us at this point, which I admire so much! It's really hard to go to school, but it's even harder if you just don't want to be there. He's been doing pretty well on his quizzes and has good attendance so far. He's been a rockstar husband to me lately, as well. The poor man has a completely insane woman on his hands right now! For example, we always talk about not doing anything on Valentine's day because we agree that it really is a ridiculous holiday. We tell/show each other we are in love everyday, we don't need a special day to remind us to do this. Well this year that conversation ended with me saying, "But this year, that means I really want you to do something special for me..." He looked at me like I had totally lost my mind...and he's likely right! Poor guy! But he's being a trooper about it! And I think he plans to take me out shooting to celebrate Valentine's day...he's so great! :)
The kids are doing really well here! Hailey's teacher is so perfect for her! I couldn't have asked for a better teacher, seriously. The day we went in to meet the teachers we walked into Hailey's classroom and it is decorated all medieval with a cardboard castle built in the corner for the kids to read in, and knights and queens and swords and shields. Anyone who knows my little bookworm knows this could not fit her better. Needless to say, she was super excited to start and still loves going to school every day! Mylee's teacher is also pretty great for her. She has a good balance of making things fun while still keeping Mylee reigned in, so that is great! Mylee has had a bit of an issue with one of the boys in her class. He started telling her he loves her rather incessantly starting on her first day and continues to tease and pester her. She has talked to the teacher, principal, and counselor so far. I am trying very hard to allow her to handle this and guide her to the right venues to find a solution but it's tough to sit on the side lines! She's done great at standing up for herself so far and asking authority figures for help though, so I am just listening and guiding her...for now! Austin is dying to start kindergarten next year. He really cannot wait! And Colton has started walking/running and really seems to have developed mentally a lot just since we've moved here. They are all just doing really well!
The pregnancy is making me crazy, but going well. We easily heard the heartbeat at my last check up. I am now 16+ weeks, or 4 months. Not quite halfway done. I still have not had even a drag of a cigarette. Tomorrow will be 3 months exactly since my last cigarette and it's really not as difficult as I thought it would be. I don't really have any triggers that make me want one anymore and hardly ever have a craving for one. Bj has cut back and never smokes when he's home so that helps a lot, I think. I am calling this month the month of appointments! So far all of the kids have had dental check ups/cleanings, which all ended well with no cavities! Mylee will need braces (thanks a ton, Shane!), Hailey may need them, and the boys both look really good so far. I also had a dental check up recently and mine didn't go so well. I have enough work to do in my mouth that they split it up into three appointments next week. :( I have fillings on one side happening on Monday, the other side on Tuesday, and wisdom teeth being removed Thursday. I also need to have a prenatal check this month, Mylee's annual check up, an eye appointment for Colton, and my ultrasound! We are busy to say the least! We also have a few birthdays this month, including mine and Mylee's! I cannot believe she's going to be 7 already! All of these kids are growing up much too quickly for me! It's really so much fun to watch and be a part of and I couldn't be more proud of the awesome people they are becoming! :)
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